Wednesday, January 1, 2014

My New Year's Resolution . . . To Make Dave Proud




I have been scrapbooking since I was sixteen years old. It has become more then a hobby, it is my therapy and a way for me to count my blessings. I almost gave up this hobby when my older son, Caleb, was diagnosed with a genetic neuromuscular disease in 2009. It was too painful to think that my child would not have the "normal" pages in his scrapbooks - you know, his first steps, running on the playground, and playing sports. My life was now filled with doctor and therapy appointments.

Guilt is what kept me going. My younger son, Zachary, was two months old and there were no scrapbook pages featuring him. I decided I would scrapbook his first year then pack up my paper crafting supplies. But then an amazing thing happened. God used my scrapbooks to begin healing my heart. I realized that even though our life was shadowed by Spinal Muscular Atrophy, my boys were still smiling in the pictures. They were happy and having a good life. What I thought would be a painful reminder of what our life wasn't quickly became a way to count my blessings. I realized that I still had so much to be thankful for. With this realization, scrapbooking became my passion!

My wonderful husband has been bugging me to start a blog, to showcase various pages and cards I have made. I always shrugged him off, saying I didn't think my work was good enough and that no one would be interested.

Dave passed away a little over two weeks ago. He was a New York State Trooper and killed in a car accident while conducting a routine traffic stop. He was my best friend and the love of my life. I adored him and he adored me. Our marriage was wonderful. My heart is broken. For the first time in 18 years, he is not here to ring in the new year with me. I feel so alone without him. 

So my New Year's resolution is to make Dave proud of me! I'm going to do what he had been encouraging me to do for years. I'd love to think I'd post every day, but now that I'm a single parent, it might be a couple of times a week.

The layout featured at the top of this post is one of my favorites. It was a kit from Embellish It! and all I had to do was put it together and add the pictures. The photos were the last "official" family portraits taken of us by Hannah Balta of HB Photography, in December 2012. 

What I love about this layout is the saying at the bottom of the right page, "All because two people fell in love." Dave and I were very much in love. I still am . . . . 


19 comments:

  1. This is beautiful Amy, I am looking forward to following along. Though I know Dave is already proud of you, this blog will surely make him even more so.

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  2. That is so beautiful, Amy. Praying for you!

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  3. Your work is beautiful!!! After seeing all of your scrapbooks you have inspired me to put forth the effort of finishing mine. I look foward to reading your posts!

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  4. I think about you and your boys daily and pray for your strength as you go thru each moment of each day right now. Your words and pictures are beautiful and inspirational. Thank you so much for choosing to share.

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  5. Beautiful and a great therapeutic project! Thank you for sharing! You'll continue to be in my prayers!

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  6. I love you! And I wish I was as talented as you are! Dave always has been proud of you. <3

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  7. Amy...I'm sure Dave Was proud of you, is proud of you, and will be proud of you. You have the harder job right now, carrying on without him. Your blogspot is a great idea! Do it for Dave and it will help heal you. In my thoughts and prayers daily.

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  8. As my husband, Jim, and I were in line at the wake, what a blessing it was to look over the incredible, beautiful scrapbooks of your life together! God bless you all, we pray for you every day.

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  9. Amy, you are so beautiful. My very first thought of you, the day of Dave's service, was "Wow, how beautiful she looks for Dave." You are shining your love for Dave, through His grace and mercy, so amazingly well. Proud...not only is Dave proud, everyone who knows you, the NYSP, your church, your Lord and Savior is proud of you. Keep inspiring...Jeremiah 29:11

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  10. Amy, I am looking forward to reading your blog and think of yall. I'm glad ypu are starting a blog since I credit you with teaching me how to write. Love and miss you friend.

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  11. I'm so glad you're doing this blog. I will be praying for you. I don't think I ever met you, but I know your parents through Pastor Dundore, a good friend of theirs. Although I have not experienced the death of my spouse, I have a few friends that have and my husband and I facilitate a group called GriefShare, so we see the pain often. There are groups around the country and if you are interested you can find a group from this site. http://www.griefshare.org/findagroup/search It is a very helpful program that I found when my mother passed away in 2007. Even if you don't go to this you have the information to pass along. Take care.
    Sandy Black

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    1. Amy I was humbled (and blown away) by all of the scrapbooks you had done and had on display at Dave's viewing. Your scrapbook pages are works of art and are a mother's/wife's pure love all rolled into one. There is no question your bog will be the same. You are the only person I trusted to teach my girls to write. I know that whatever you set out to do will be carefully and thoughtfully done, and of the utmost quality. We are all praying for you and the boys. Laurie Lester (Annaleigh & Brittany' s Mom)

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  12. I'm following this, and praying! and you've inspired me to get MY scrapbooking stuff back out and scrapbook again. I've not made time since we started our family.

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  13. Thank you for sharing Amy.. I am looking forward to reading your blog xoxo

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  14. A Beautiful Tribute to Dave!

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  15. Thank you for your transparency and I'm looking forward to reading your blog in days, weeks to come. You've inspired me to quit putting off things and begin right now. I will follow your blog and pray each step of the way!

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  16. Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to reading your blog and pray for continued healing for you and your family. You are truly an inspiration!

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  17. you continue to be in our prayers and although I don't know you personally from church, I do know your mom. Your words here are just poignant and I'm thankful you have this outlet.....your husband has always been proud of you and I'm guessing he is smiling down from his place near Jesus as you pen these words and memories. God's peace and comfort to you! (the photos are beautiful!!)

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